An Introduction To Slappy McBappy
Slappy McBappy went to the store to buy a four by four. Upon arrival, he noticed that pieces of things were popping out of this son-of-a-bitch like there was no tomorrow.
"Holy Fucking Shit!" belled McBappy, Slappy.
A man with a garden hose and a rake and a ten foot snake walked through a doorway, one of those doorways you see on a saloon in western movies where the doors swing open, only the doorway was just a prop and had no real purpose, it was just there in the store parking lot, but there he goes! Walking through the mofo doorway.
"Whut kin ah dew ya fir?" said the man with the garden hose, rake, 10 ft. snake.
"Well, I was here to stop by to get up on some four by fours by I noticed..."
"Yeah, all that fuckin' shit blowin' it's goldurn top like it's a Mount Visivious," interrupted the man with the garden hose, et al.
"So just what the heck happened Huck?" said the four by four customer (McBappy) noticing the other man containing the items mentioned earlier also happened to contain a name tag on his vest that said the word "Huck."
"Well, sheeeeyit, I tell ya wut happened. Wut happened is I got myself up delivered a big huge pot of none of yer goldurn bizness, ya no gud ess oh bee. Go eat a turd and die, ya punk."
"Alright, I see how it is. I know when I'm not wanted." McBappy pulled a pen out of his pants pocket and threw it across the parking lot, hitting the cement and landing perfectly on a yellow line. This symbolizes his fate with some sort of destiny.
So the four by four hunting customer (McBappy) left. As he pulled out of the parking lot, his car was hit by a man driving a really really nice foreign car (probably German, most certainly not French). He sued this man and made a lot of money off of it. He then used this money to open up a store that sold fishing tackle and beer. Unfortunately, his store had a horrible location (location, location, location!) and he went bankrupt. Don't worry about Slappy, though. He will have more adventures soon.
As for the other man, he had a massive heart attack a few days later due to his propensity to eat bacon at every goddamned meal (you just can't do that!). He lives in heaven now because he accepted the Lord into his heart. John 3:16.
"Holy Fucking Shit!" belled McBappy, Slappy.
A man with a garden hose and a rake and a ten foot snake walked through a doorway, one of those doorways you see on a saloon in western movies where the doors swing open, only the doorway was just a prop and had no real purpose, it was just there in the store parking lot, but there he goes! Walking through the mofo doorway.
"Whut kin ah dew ya fir?" said the man with the garden hose, rake, 10 ft. snake.
"Well, I was here to stop by to get up on some four by fours by I noticed..."
"Yeah, all that fuckin' shit blowin' it's goldurn top like it's a Mount Visivious," interrupted the man with the garden hose, et al.
"So just what the heck happened Huck?" said the four by four customer (McBappy) noticing the other man containing the items mentioned earlier also happened to contain a name tag on his vest that said the word "Huck."
"Well, sheeeeyit, I tell ya wut happened. Wut happened is I got myself up delivered a big huge pot of none of yer goldurn bizness, ya no gud ess oh bee. Go eat a turd and die, ya punk."
"Alright, I see how it is. I know when I'm not wanted." McBappy pulled a pen out of his pants pocket and threw it across the parking lot, hitting the cement and landing perfectly on a yellow line. This symbolizes his fate with some sort of destiny.
So the four by four hunting customer (McBappy) left. As he pulled out of the parking lot, his car was hit by a man driving a really really nice foreign car (probably German, most certainly not French). He sued this man and made a lot of money off of it. He then used this money to open up a store that sold fishing tackle and beer. Unfortunately, his store had a horrible location (location, location, location!) and he went bankrupt. Don't worry about Slappy, though. He will have more adventures soon.
As for the other man, he had a massive heart attack a few days later due to his propensity to eat bacon at every goddamned meal (you just can't do that!). He lives in heaven now because he accepted the Lord into his heart. John 3:16.
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