The Man on the Corner
There's a man. A man on the corner. On the corner of the corner. The corner of the corner of the corner of the street. He's there, and he's standing and just happens to be drooling out of the right side of his mouth.
Paralyzed, his right side face side can't move the way it used too. Oh, as a child he could smile, rooms and situations would brighten with his smile, wide as the mighty motherfuckin' Mississipp. That wide, but not as muddy. Bright, like a lamp post that just so happened to be on a darkly lit street where the crack dealers hung out. Teeth like the wind, given that the wind had the capability to be bright and white and all that shit.
Slappy McBappy approached this man, ham sandwich in his hand, and the man asked Mr. McBappy a question.
The question was so incomprensible that not only did Mr. McBappy not get it, but I didn't get it as well.
"Huh?" said Mr. McBappy.
"What the shit you be dickin' wit' da booyah peepaw, sucka?" said the man on the corner.
"Huh?" said Mr. McBappy.
"I said, boo bah pee paw ding dong daddy doo corn cob pipe glue gun chair?"
"No, seriously, what the fuck man?" said Mr. McBappy.
"Chickens enjoy the good weather, yes?"
"Sure."
"The tits like football in the house when the kittens take turns sharing, am I right?"
"Look, man, I just gotta cross the street. I can't take this crazy talk."
"Purple skippers do the fountain boy gus butt quick dude?"
"Light looks green to me, crazy man."
"Ham sandwich."
"Huh?"
"I done just said 'ham sandwich', dickbutt."
"Ba?"
"Gimmee da fucken ham sammich."
"U no need no ham sammich, beesh."
"Ding dong daddy done did it wit da doo dah doo dah?"
Slappy McBappy was utterly confused. He was so confused that he pulled down his sock and pulled up his pants and tightened his belt and relaxed the top button on his shirt and then yanked his hair violently with his left hand while his right hand tossed the ham sandwich to the duck pond that just so happened to be within the area.
"Dude, that's fucked up," said the man on the corner.
"Watch your language, butthole," said Slappy McBappy. "Chew on this for awhile."
A tiny little white mouse popped out of Slappy's coat pocket and ran down his leg and puked on the sidewalk.
"Okay," said the man on the corner.
Paralyzed, his right side face side can't move the way it used too. Oh, as a child he could smile, rooms and situations would brighten with his smile, wide as the mighty motherfuckin' Mississipp. That wide, but not as muddy. Bright, like a lamp post that just so happened to be on a darkly lit street where the crack dealers hung out. Teeth like the wind, given that the wind had the capability to be bright and white and all that shit.
Slappy McBappy approached this man, ham sandwich in his hand, and the man asked Mr. McBappy a question.
The question was so incomprensible that not only did Mr. McBappy not get it, but I didn't get it as well.
"Huh?" said Mr. McBappy.
"What the shit you be dickin' wit' da booyah peepaw, sucka?" said the man on the corner.
"Huh?" said Mr. McBappy.
"I said, boo bah pee paw ding dong daddy doo corn cob pipe glue gun chair?"
"No, seriously, what the fuck man?" said Mr. McBappy.
"Chickens enjoy the good weather, yes?"
"Sure."
"The tits like football in the house when the kittens take turns sharing, am I right?"
"Look, man, I just gotta cross the street. I can't take this crazy talk."
"Purple skippers do the fountain boy gus butt quick dude?"
"Light looks green to me, crazy man."
"Ham sandwich."
"Huh?"
"I done just said 'ham sandwich', dickbutt."
"Ba?"
"Gimmee da fucken ham sammich."
"U no need no ham sammich, beesh."
"Ding dong daddy done did it wit da doo dah doo dah?"
Slappy McBappy was utterly confused. He was so confused that he pulled down his sock and pulled up his pants and tightened his belt and relaxed the top button on his shirt and then yanked his hair violently with his left hand while his right hand tossed the ham sandwich to the duck pond that just so happened to be within the area.
"Dude, that's fucked up," said the man on the corner.
"Watch your language, butthole," said Slappy McBappy. "Chew on this for awhile."
A tiny little white mouse popped out of Slappy's coat pocket and ran down his leg and puked on the sidewalk.
"Okay," said the man on the corner.
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