Lines
People are lining the street. Some are in line for a flu shot. Others are in line for Aerosmith tickets. Slappy McBappy is torn. He doesn't know which line to get into. He really wants to get a flu shot because he's gotten the flu for the past seven, count them, seven years in a row. On the other hand, he hasn't seen Aerosmith in, like, twelve years. Of course, he can tune his radio to 103.6 HawkRawk Radio and hear Aerosmith at least once an hour (twice an hour on "Two-fer Tuesdays" and thrice an hour on "Triple Shot Thursdays").
But, the flu sucks ass. Flu shot line wins. Slappy happily lines up behind an elderly woman in a wheelchair. There are at least, and I am not good at estimating crowds, but there must be at least one bajillion people in line waiting for a flu shot. Slappy is impatient and unhappy.
He's unhappy because he went to the dentist earlier and he had to get a bunch of fillings. He's impatient because the line is fucking long as fuck.
"Fuck fuck fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fucker fuck," said Slappy.
"Young man, could you please watch your language. I don't care to hear that. In fact, most people don't want to hear that," said the elderly lady in the wheelchair.
"Bitch, suck my fat fuckin' dick you wrinkled old haggity ass cunt," Slappy thought to himself but did not actually say aloud.
"I'm sorry ma'am. I will watch my language from now on. I was just frustrated because this line is really, really, really assfucking long," Slappy actually did say aloud.
"That's okay, but there's no need to be so angry. Why are you so angry?" said the elderly woman.
"Oh, I just have a really stressful job."
"Is it worth it?"
"Hell yeah. You should see what I make. I got a Tahoe."
"A Tahoe won't get you to heaven, young man."
"Bullshit. Tahoes go everywhere. I got a hot tub, too. Wanna party?"
Just then, a man in a white lab coat walked down the sidewalk and announced over a bullhorn that all the flu shots were gone.
Slappy didn't hesitate for a second and immediately switched over to the Aerosmith line.
"Back in black!" shouted Slappy.
"Uh, that's ACDC," stated a doofus in line for the Aerosmith tickets.
"Walk this way!" replied Slappy as he unleashed a ham sandwich from his pants pocket.
Unbeknownst to Slappy, his ham sandwich had flu all up in it.
BOO-YAH!
But, the flu sucks ass. Flu shot line wins. Slappy happily lines up behind an elderly woman in a wheelchair. There are at least, and I am not good at estimating crowds, but there must be at least one bajillion people in line waiting for a flu shot. Slappy is impatient and unhappy.
He's unhappy because he went to the dentist earlier and he had to get a bunch of fillings. He's impatient because the line is fucking long as fuck.
"Fuck fuck fuck. Fuckity fuck fuck fucker fuck," said Slappy.
"Young man, could you please watch your language. I don't care to hear that. In fact, most people don't want to hear that," said the elderly lady in the wheelchair.
"Bitch, suck my fat fuckin' dick you wrinkled old haggity ass cunt," Slappy thought to himself but did not actually say aloud.
"I'm sorry ma'am. I will watch my language from now on. I was just frustrated because this line is really, really, really assfucking long," Slappy actually did say aloud.
"That's okay, but there's no need to be so angry. Why are you so angry?" said the elderly woman.
"Oh, I just have a really stressful job."
"Is it worth it?"
"Hell yeah. You should see what I make. I got a Tahoe."
"A Tahoe won't get you to heaven, young man."
"Bullshit. Tahoes go everywhere. I got a hot tub, too. Wanna party?"
Just then, a man in a white lab coat walked down the sidewalk and announced over a bullhorn that all the flu shots were gone.
Slappy didn't hesitate for a second and immediately switched over to the Aerosmith line.
"Back in black!" shouted Slappy.
"Uh, that's ACDC," stated a doofus in line for the Aerosmith tickets.
"Walk this way!" replied Slappy as he unleashed a ham sandwich from his pants pocket.
Unbeknownst to Slappy, his ham sandwich had flu all up in it.
BOO-YAH!
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