Splish Splash
I don't really know how it happened. I was just sitting at my desk at work drinking a cup of water, then suddenly the cup just slipped out of my hand and water dumped all over me. This wasn't just a little spill, mind you. No, I look like I just got back from a wet t-shirt contest. I was soaked. The bathrooms don't have those little hand dryers either. Then I started to get cold. I was cold and wet, and scared. I wonder if it'd be okay if I worked shirtless?
That's it, I'll take my shirt off and go down to the cafeteria and smear mayonaisse all over me so it looks like a white t-shirt. I'll make it a v-neck t-shirt, and I'll put pickle slices on my nipples. Naw, that's a stupid idea. Whoever heard of a mayonaisse t-shirt? That'll fool nobody. I'll just make a pancho out of a newspaper, that looks more professional.
Naturally, a co-worker stopped by my desk right after the spill.
"Did you wet yourself? You know we have bathrooms here. Hey everybody, Jefe wet himself!"
"Yeah, I wet myself. Instead of just peeing in my pants, I figured I'd just whip my thing out and pee all over my shirt, jackass," I muttered back sarcastically.
"Oooh, I didn't know you were into that golden shower stuff."
"What do you want?" I asked back.
"I was gonna see if you wanted to have a wet t-shirt contest, but it looks like you already did."
"Seriously, what do you want?"
"Maybe you could work shirtless. That would be so awesome."
"Ha ha. What do you want?" I asked again, annoyed.
"No, even better, take your shirt off and go down to the cafeteria and smear mayonaisse all your self to make a mayonaisse t-shirt. You could make it into a v-neck."
Another co-worker, over hearing the conversation piped in, "Yeah, and you could put pickle slices on your nipples."
"Ha ha ha ha," they both laughed.
A third co-worker, the boss of the second, added, "Fuck that, just make a pancho out of a newspaper!"
"Ha ha ha ha," all of them laughed.
The second co-worker added, "Yeah, that would look real professional!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
That's it, I'll take my shirt off and go down to the cafeteria and smear mayonaisse all over me so it looks like a white t-shirt. I'll make it a v-neck t-shirt, and I'll put pickle slices on my nipples. Naw, that's a stupid idea. Whoever heard of a mayonaisse t-shirt? That'll fool nobody. I'll just make a pancho out of a newspaper, that looks more professional.
Naturally, a co-worker stopped by my desk right after the spill.
"Did you wet yourself? You know we have bathrooms here. Hey everybody, Jefe wet himself!"
"Yeah, I wet myself. Instead of just peeing in my pants, I figured I'd just whip my thing out and pee all over my shirt, jackass," I muttered back sarcastically.
"Oooh, I didn't know you were into that golden shower stuff."
"What do you want?" I asked back.
"I was gonna see if you wanted to have a wet t-shirt contest, but it looks like you already did."
"Seriously, what do you want?"
"Maybe you could work shirtless. That would be so awesome."
"Ha ha. What do you want?" I asked again, annoyed.
"No, even better, take your shirt off and go down to the cafeteria and smear mayonaisse all your self to make a mayonaisse t-shirt. You could make it into a v-neck."
Another co-worker, over hearing the conversation piped in, "Yeah, and you could put pickle slices on your nipples."
"Ha ha ha ha," they both laughed.
A third co-worker, the boss of the second, added, "Fuck that, just make a pancho out of a newspaper!"
"Ha ha ha ha," all of them laughed.
The second co-worker added, "Yeah, that would look real professional!"
"Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!"
<< Home