Will Mac's iPad Tard Yer Nuts?

The Apple Computing Company released plans for a new tablet doo-dad thing called the iPad the other day. Perhaps you heard of this. This magical device is an enlarged version of the iPod Touch. Apple CEO, Steve Jobs, just stone cold took a product they already had and said make it bigger, then did a cannonball off the diving board into his cash filled swimming pool.

One of the interesting things about this game-changer is that people will sit in their big comfy chairs, cozy in their slankets with a glass of wine and some smoove jazz playing whilst holding the iPad in their lap, right next to "down there", with wireless stuff going on. I think you know where I'm going with this...

Yep, that's right, all kinds of radiation will be going through people's dick, pussy, balls, and asshole. For men, it is quite possible that this thing will tard your nuts, making your sperm all mutated and shit. For women, it probably won't do anything, unless they hold it next to their ovaries. Also, it's probably not a good idea for the ladies to hold this on their chest, especially if they're breast feeding.

Anyhow, iPad users will then go on and have dumb babies, who will be more than happy to use an iPad.