For Now On, I Will Only Buy Pants with an Elastic Waist-band

That's what I learned today from this news story. They say that 9 out of 10 men will be fatty fats. I don't like those odds. I guess that means I should go ahead and purchase my Rascal now since I'll probably balloon up to the point that it hurts to walk. And, for you ladies out there, don't start laughing yet, because there is a 7 out 10 chance that you too will be ginormous whale people walking around eating fried chicken out of the bucket.