Sick Time Cooking Shows
I was sick for a few days and I stayed at home and rested, healthing myself back to health. During this period, I rested upon the couch and watched many hours of television to pass the time when I was not napping or reading the classics of Western Civilization.
I found the cooking shows on a channel known as the "Food Network" to be somewhat intriguing. Well, I found this intriguing when Tom and Jerry wasn't playing on the "Cartoon Network." I noticed a pattern during these cooking shows, they all tend to end the same way. At the end of these cookery shows, the head cook would taste the food that was prepared during the course of the program and sometimes some guests or audience members would taste the food as well.
"Mmmmmm. That is soooo good. Ahhh, yes. Ohh wow! That is amazing," the cook would say while contorting their face orgasmically. "Oh, God! Yes! Yes, yes yes! Mmmmmmm. That is so good."
If there was a guest, they would shovel a spoonful into their mouth hole. "Oh yeah. Woooo! That is awesome! Holy [bleeeep]! That is amazing! Mmmm-mmmm-mmmm. That is the best thing I've ever tasted! Oh God, yes! Unnnggh! Whooo! Yes!"
Then maybe someone else would take a taste. "Ohhhh! Wow! Unbelievable! That is soooo amazing! Mmmmmm! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, sweet Lord Jesus that tastes so good! Gawd! That is Heaven. I could die right now. I have tasted heaven."
Then this other shifty guy takes a taste. "Shit! This makes me horny. This makes me horny right now. Who wants to have sex? I will clear this counter top and have sex with whoever gives me the signal. I am serious. This is amazing. Ohhhh! I feel like a rabbit, just humping. Humping so fast and so hard. Like a bunny rabbit, or a squirrel, just goin' to town. Just humpin' like a little animal. You know what I mean? It's just BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! No, actually, it's faster than that, it's BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM. Oh yeah! That's the way I like it. I like it quick and fast. How fast can you clap your hands? Okay, now clap faster. Now clap faster than that. That's what I'm talking about. Oh God, yes. That turns me on. Ohhhhh!"
"Excuse me?"
"Huh, what?"
"This is a cooking show?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, you have kinda diverged from the show and gone off into some kind of rodent hump thing."
"What? You gotta problem with that?"
"Well, yeah."
"Prude."
"Ok, well, we got this on tape, so we can edit this unfortunate bit out. Would anyone else from the audience like to sample the food? You'll get to be on T.V."
"I'll try it," says a little old lady.
"Okay, c'mon up ma'am."
The little old lady tastest the food. Her wrinkled face frowns a bit.
"Oh no, I'm sorry. That's just not right. No, you let something go sour. Ewww. That is awful. I can't eat that. That is terrible."
I found the cooking shows on a channel known as the "Food Network" to be somewhat intriguing. Well, I found this intriguing when Tom and Jerry wasn't playing on the "Cartoon Network." I noticed a pattern during these cooking shows, they all tend to end the same way. At the end of these cookery shows, the head cook would taste the food that was prepared during the course of the program and sometimes some guests or audience members would taste the food as well.
"Mmmmmm. That is soooo good. Ahhh, yes. Ohh wow! That is amazing," the cook would say while contorting their face orgasmically. "Oh, God! Yes! Yes, yes yes! Mmmmmmm. That is so good."
If there was a guest, they would shovel a spoonful into their mouth hole. "Oh yeah. Woooo! That is awesome! Holy [bleeeep]! That is amazing! Mmmm-mmmm-mmmm. That is the best thing I've ever tasted! Oh God, yes! Unnnggh! Whooo! Yes!"
Then maybe someone else would take a taste. "Ohhhh! Wow! Unbelievable! That is soooo amazing! Mmmmmm! Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes! Oh, sweet Lord Jesus that tastes so good! Gawd! That is Heaven. I could die right now. I have tasted heaven."
Then this other shifty guy takes a taste. "Shit! This makes me horny. This makes me horny right now. Who wants to have sex? I will clear this counter top and have sex with whoever gives me the signal. I am serious. This is amazing. Ohhhh! I feel like a rabbit, just humping. Humping so fast and so hard. Like a bunny rabbit, or a squirrel, just goin' to town. Just humpin' like a little animal. You know what I mean? It's just BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM BAM! No, actually, it's faster than that, it's BAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAMBAM. Oh yeah! That's the way I like it. I like it quick and fast. How fast can you clap your hands? Okay, now clap faster. Now clap faster than that. That's what I'm talking about. Oh God, yes. That turns me on. Ohhhhh!"
"Excuse me?"
"Huh, what?"
"This is a cooking show?"
"Yeah?"
"Well, you have kinda diverged from the show and gone off into some kind of rodent hump thing."
"What? You gotta problem with that?"
"Well, yeah."
"Prude."
"Ok, well, we got this on tape, so we can edit this unfortunate bit out. Would anyone else from the audience like to sample the food? You'll get to be on T.V."
"I'll try it," says a little old lady.
"Okay, c'mon up ma'am."
The little old lady tastest the food. Her wrinkled face frowns a bit.
"Oh no, I'm sorry. That's just not right. No, you let something go sour. Ewww. That is awful. I can't eat that. That is terrible."
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