Brainstorm

Driving to work this morning, I was thinking that there needs to be a place a guy could go to get a good ball massage. Now I'm not talking about some sleazy underground "massage parlor" where seedy acts are performed on sweaty fat guys. I'm talking about a nice classy place. They serve you nice drinks like tea or whiskey. Soft music plays and the smell of scented candles fills the room. It's kinda like a day spa for men, only you get massaged in the balls.

This is isn't a sexual thing. There will be no penis touching. In fact, they should cover the penis with a warm towel. The ball masseuse will not be nude, and they will all be very professional. I don't even know what they look like. They just put the cucumber slices on my eyes and I sit back and relax and enjoy my soothing ball massage.

They could offer other services as well. For example, they could trim my ball hair before the massage. Or maybe, for an extra twenty dollars they could exfoliate my taint. They could also offer special scented ball lotions. Perhaps they could even have some rabbit fur jock straps you wear after your ball massage. Or, I don't know, maybe they could have some kind of liquid cleansing solution you inject into your urethra. Actually, I'm not so sure about that. I'm still just brainstorming here.

But seriously, there needs to be a place where a guy could go to get a good ball massage. Yes, I realize I have a wife who could do it, but I want it done by a licensed professional.