Sometimes I think about stuff

I was thinking that if you saw a hypothetical tapeworm in your bathroom toilet and it was covered in blood and poo that that would be kinda nasty. I was thinking that.

I was also thinking that what if an elevator was going up, then the cable broke, and it "fell" upward. How? Magnets.

Then, I was thinking it would be really embarrassing if you were stuck on a crowded elevator and then you "accidentally" farted cum.

One time, I was thinking that a cool slang term for orange juice would be "orange j". Would you like a glass of orange j? No thanks, I'll just have some grape j (that stands for grape juice).

A few years ago, I was thinking that someone should tell squirrels to finally just chill the fuck out and relax, man. I would do it myself, but I'm shy.

I was thinking that it would be cool if I was riding my bike and then an awesome majestic hawk came swooping down and like totally landed on the handlebars and rode with me for a few blocks. Then it said "AWK!" and just beelined like a bird straight up to a dumb squirrel and choked the shit out of it.