Sometimes I think about stuff

I was thinking that if you saw a hypothetical tapeworm in your bathroom toilet and it was covered in blood and poo that that would be kinda nasty. I was thinking that.

I was also thinking that what if an elevator was going up, then the cable broke, and it "fell" upward. How? Magnets.

Then, I was thinking it would be really embarrassing if you were stuck on a crowded elevator and then you "accidentally" farted cum.

One time, I was thinking that a cool slang term for orange juice would be "orange j". Would you like a glass of orange j? No thanks, I'll just have some grape j (that stands for grape juice).

A few years ago, I was thinking that someone should tell squirrels to finally just chill the fuck out and relax, man. I would do it myself, but I'm shy.

I was thinking that it would be cool if I was riding my bike and then an awesome majestic hawk came swooping down and like totally landed on the handlebars and rode with me for a few blocks. Then it said "AWK!" and just beelined like a bird straight up to a dumb squirrel and choked the shit out of it.

Gassin' Up the Ole Motor Bike

The other day I was at the gas station, not to buy gas, but to buy beer, so I could get drunk for the evening, and it was a Wednesday, and Mythbusters comes on on wednesdays and the dvr was all set to record. Anywhere, there was a guy at the gas pump sitting on his motorcycle with his legs splayed and the gas hose and nozzle going right between his thighs. His gashole was right there below the seat, and he was just sitting there, spreadin' 'em while sticking that nozzle down in there to fill it up to the top, right there in broad daylight, where anyone could see.

This was when I realized that I don't think I've ever seen a person gas up a motorcycle before. Certainly not like this fella was doin' it. They way he was doin' it looked filthy, like maybe I should have payed money to see it. It made me feel ashamed.

It's kinda weird though, that a person can go for over thirty years of life and not really ever notice somebody put gas in a motor cycle.