Bug Blogging

Strange bug on my porch.



Where is the bug?!? He/she is in there somewhere...



Any amateur entomologists out there wanna identify this thing for me? I'd like to know genus and species.

Breaking News: Foghat does not support Bush

U.S. News and World Report apparently likes to just make shit up. The, ahem, New York Post reports today that Foghat does not support Bush.

I regret the error and the fact that U.S. News and World Report likes to print lies.

Pour Some Sugar...

...on me.

Four More Years

It looks like it will be another four more years for Bush. Word on the street is that Foghat (yes, the Foghat) will be touring for Bush to counter Bruce Springsteen's Vote-for-Kerry tour through the swing states.

Now I knew that Karl Rove was one dirty motherfucker, but this is just ridiculous. Once the Foghat trump gets slammed to the table, it's game over. Even if Kerry could assemble an emergency tour of Stryper, Bel Biv DeVoe, and the Nelson Twins; it would be too little too late. Welp, it was fun while it lasted.

Do the "Lynndie"

This is not funny. It is in poor taste. This is an outrage!

How to fold a shirt

Wow, i'm so educatized by this it makes my brain hurt.

clicketh here to see a shirt foldeth.

I only post it because:

a) i'm drunk
b) because I apparently fold shirts wrong
c) i'm drunk
d) all of the above
e) some of the above, maybe, I'm not sure, whatever. who cares. where's the after hours bar at?






answer: f) ding a ling bing bong coocoo clock eggnog doorknob step ladder.

Standby

This blog has grown stale. It's like chewing on a piece of something that sorta feels like it's sliding down your throat, but it's not.

And you reach your hand in there and pull out a long bloody tapeworm.

And you freak out at the sight of this and punch the wall only to break your hand because the wall is stucco.

And there you are, broken handed with a bloody tapeworn sitting on one of those circular donut trucker hemmoroid pillows because your pook slot is on fire (for a whole other reason that I won't get into for now).

Meanwhile, those other bloggers out there are getting rich and famous, sitting on their golden toilets, getting a beej from some camwhore groupie while doing blow off the goddamn spacebar!

What the hell am I talking about? I don't even know anymore.

I Tell You What...

That found photo site is just outtatastic.

Synchronized Diving

Synchronized Diving is on. What the hell? Why is this a sport? I can understand diving, but just because you have two people dive at the same time and do the exact same thing does not make a good sport. Why don't they have synchronized running or synchronized javelin or synchronized basketball. Yeah, there's two basketball games going on at the same time, but they are synchronized you see, they are the exact same game. Holy shit! It's a whole new sport! I am a genius. Why don't they have synchronized taking a shit contest? Ugggh.

Digitized Up Speech From Text Converter Site Page Yes

If you need some entertainment, then entertain yourself at this page. Maybe I'll post up some of the files that I made. Maybe not, they are fairly immature and nasty.

Athens 2004

I saw the opening ceremony to the Olympics last night on television. It was very lovely. My favorite part was when Uzbekistan came out. That was fucktacular.

X the Vote

Rock the Vote.

Mock the Vote.

Screw the Vote.

Fuck the Vote.

Smoke the Vote.

Terrorist Cats?

Serious Bastard has an interesting exclusive detailing terrorist plots by cats. Go read it here.

I must say, I have been watching my own two cats, but there's no way my little sweetie pies would ever be terrorists. Would you? Would you? Meow. Come here little kitty cat, awwwwwww.

However, the neighbor cats are a different story, especially the little grey kitty. That little grey cat is always up to no good and is always trying to start fights with my cats. She's also very suspicious. Why, just the other day she was rooting around the trash bin, possible looking for a way to hide a dirty bomb? Who knows? I dont know? Do you know? No, you don't.

If you ever see a cat wearing a little backpack and you think to yourself, "awww, how cute, that little kitty has a backpack on." Don't pick it up and pet it! It could be a suicide bomber cat. You never know.

Nice Photos

Nice photographs may be seen here.

The second photo is an arial shot of Stonehenge. If you are curious as to how Stonehenge was built, then checkout The Forgotten Technology. This guy seems to have figured it all out.

Cut off tail

http://www.cutofftail.com/

This is a site with flash animations. And Good Lord, you ain't never seen anything like these before.

What Are They Talking About?

"Please do not touch the merchandise," said the shopkeeper. "Thank you. Is there anything I can help you with?"

"Oh, no. Just browsing and, well, actually there is something I'm looking for," said the store patron.

"Yes what is it?"

"I'm looking for one those things with the doo-dad sticking out the top."

"I think I know what you're saying."

"Yeah, ya know. It's got that deal and it goes round and makes the noise and..."

"Say no more, I hear ya. I'm sorry though, we just ran out of those the other day. Should be getting some new ones in about a week."

"Yeah, I'm just going around to see if I can find one, and no luck so far. This is the third place I've been to today."

"There's been a big rush on those lately, people are just buying them up."

"I wonder why that is? I mean, is there some kind of reason?"

"Well I have my suspicions."

"Oh, really."

"I think it might just happen to have something to do with you know what..." said the shopkeeper, nodding his head.

"Nooo..."

"Yes."

"Nooo, no way."

"Yes way."

"You think? You think it has something to do with that?"

"I do, and I've got proof."

"Really? What is your proof?"

"Okay, so remember a couple of weeks ago when they said that..."

"Yeah, I remember, get to the juice, man."

"Okay, so that happened to coincide with that announcement where they said..."

"No shit!"

"Oh yeah, perfect timing."

"You're shitting me. I didn't even think of that.

"It's not a hundred percent, but let's just say the motives fit the means, if you know what I'm saying and I think you do."

"Holy shit. I think you're right, though. It makes perfect sense. I mean, it all just fits together so perfectly."

"Yeah, hell yeah it does."

"Shit, I'm gonna go home and put my tinfoil on, know what I'm saying?"

"I hear ya, brother."

"All righty, well, I guess I'll come back next week, say what was your name again?"

"Oh, it's right there on the front of the store."

"That's you?"

"That would be me."

"Wow. Well, you've got a lovely store, I'll check you later. Thanks for the tip, dude."

"No problem, have a nice day."

Cool Movie Trailers

Check out Blue Underground for fun B-movie trailers.

Powerlifting Videos

I have been absolutely flooded with emails lately asking when I am going to post a link to some powerlifting videos. Well, you're dreams have come true (and quite personally, if that's all you dream about, that's kinda sad). Clicketh here to watch some fine powerlifting videos, including this one.

If powerlifting isn't your thing, then check out this rad Transformers movie.

A couple of things

It's the Batmobile!

It's Found Photos!

Specifically, speaking of that Found Photo site, take notice of this. I know Art when I see it, and that, my friends, is Art.

Would you like to measure a cat's tongue?

Hello readers, would you care to join me in learning how to measure a cat's tongue?

If so, then please go here.

If not, then go here.

Fistful of Nuthin'

There was something I was going to write about today, but I forgot. That's the problem with having a full time job, I can't devote my life to blogging for the half dozen or so people that actually bother to check this site out. Hell, even Mrs. Jefe quit reading this crap a long time ago.

I wish I could remember what it was, because it was going to be really super good. Oh well, I saw the movie "For A Few Dollars More" tonight. It screened at the local downtown theatre. This is one of those famous Sergio Leone / Clint Eastwood spaghetti westerns. It's also one of my favorites. I even made spaghetti before the movie to get me in the mood. I was going to wear a pancho to the theatre, but I decided against it because a) this is Texas and it's hot, and b) I didn't want to look like a complete dork. I did, however, ride a horse downtown, and I shot some shit up just for fun. Eh, whatever, the bums really got a kick out of it. Well, let me correct that, all the bums I didn't shoot got a kick out of it.

The cool thing about this town, it's such a geek town, even the jails have wi-fi. Well, I gotta go, Sancho and his buddies are blowin' me out of this ass-rapin' roach joint pretty soon. I'll blog ya later, and tell the Colonel to fuck off if you see him. That two-bit shit swiller lays a foot near me and I'll work him over with a good ole-fashioned pistol whippin' till he's unconsious and then I'll drink a bottle of whiskey and take a diarrhea in his mouth. That'll learn him, no good dirty sonofabitch. They'll prolly have a nice bounty on my head, too. So if any of you asswipes so much as breathes my air, then I'll kickfuck yer ass back to tuesday and you'll be shittin' through a straw for pesos. I don't even know what that means.