Numero Cinco!

Well, astute readers of Tarzanza! may be aware that I open up each post by saying that there are a lot of big news stories out there and that I plan to comment on them. But, then I never do. Instead, I talk about Organic Chee-tohs or discarded string or bad stereo speakers. If you were sharp and you noticed that, then give yourself two pats on the back, a slice of turkey bacon, and head down to your nearest bar and have yourself a Bloody PMS Blast. Tell 'em it's on me, Tarzanza!

Well, things are different today, because by golly gee willickers sam goody tennessee williams dick cheney, I'm actually gonna comment on a news story today. It's here. The article is called Video Game Industry Faces 'Crisis of Creativity'. It's a Reuters article out of San Jose and it is written by Reed Stevenson and Ben Berkowitz (they do good work).

You know, the headline to this article is very true (full disclosure: I didn't actually read the article). Video Games have gotten boring. So boring in fact, that when one of those new video game commercials comes on the telly, I fall asleep immediately and drift off into sleepy time dreamland where there's mushroom kingdoms and double dragons and simulated cities and all kinds of tomb raiding goin' on.

Does the world really need anymore games about ostrich fighting or hamburger making or General Custer? The answer is sadly, no!

Now, I don't want to sound like a whiney complaining crybaby two year old baby. I'm not gonna stand up on my blogger soapbox and cry like a little baby that just peed and pooped his diapers and dropped his bottle out of the crib on the floor where the milk spills everywhere and the dog starts licking it up and then gets really bad diarrhea. Hell no, I'm gonna be a manly man and offer up solutions.

I have a couple of ideas of my own for video games. One is called Lioness. The other is called Assant. They are both quite exciting. I will talk about them next time. So stay tuned.

Fore!

I know it's been awhile, don't worry baby, I ain't a throwin' out my spurs and my chaps just a yet now my li'l chick-a-dee. The world is filled with newsworthy stories and my brain is filled with grey matter which enables me to process information and form ideas and thoughts pertaining to these news stories. Unfortunately, I'll have to save that for next time, 'cause I got something else to talk about.

If you remember from last week, I told you about how I got some new speakers. Well, let me tell you what, I got me a couple of lemons. Now, don't get me wrong, I'm not an angry person, in fact I'm very laid back and forgiving, but something about this just really steamed my tail.

Look, I'm too disgruntled to talk about it now. If anybody out there sees 2 guys in a white van and they're selling speakers, can you let them know that I'm looking for them? Thanks a bunch, I really appreciate it.

3rd Post

There are some stove top hot stories out there on this planet I conveniently like to call Earth. The gas burners are set to high and the pot is boiling. You better tilt that lid before the pot boils over!

Unfortunately, I haven't had the time to formulate a comment on the current events. I'll try to do that tomorrow. Instead, I had the exciting opportunity to attend a big time party hosted by Blogger as a part of the SXSW festivities here in Austin.

I would like to personally thank Blogger for hosting the event and providing me with free drinks - I had 6 Lone Stars and a Tight Snatch (that's a suggestively titled shot, so don't get any wild ideas, you filthy minded silly head) - and they also offered me a free t-shirt, but I declined. I didn't want to come off as a moocher, since this only my 3rd blog post. They also provided some interesting food. At first I thought it was Mexican food, but it ended up being Chinese food. Well, I give them an "E" for effort on the catering front.

Anyways, I had a wonderful time (thanks to Blogger!) and I met all kinds of wonderfully odd eccentric people. I kinda felt out of place being around such ferocious bloggerheads. It was definitely humbling!!!!!

I met this one guy who wears a cowboy hat and smokes a cool pipe (like the Hobbits smoke in Lord of the Rings). He writes a blog about people that are coming to America and taking away everybody's job. I didn't really understand what he was saying, but I appreciated his viewpoint. Besides, isn't that what blogging is all about?!?

I also met another interesting fellow who asked me if I knew where he could get some "funky nuggets." I told him there was a McDonald's down by the University. But, then again I'm not exactly a nugget expert, let alone a funky nugget expert. I sure do hope he was able to find what he was looking for.

I tell you what, I haven't had this much fun since I got my new speakers for my stereo, but I'll save that story for another time (and it's an exciting story, so stay tuned). Well, I'll blog you later...see, I told you this was gonna be fun!

Second Post

There's a bunch of really big stories out there, I'll try to comment on them later, but I gotta take a little weekend trip, so I'll try to comment on them later at another time, okay.

Besides, I've got orange fingers right now because I'm eating some chee-tohs, well actually their organic chee-tohs. I purchased them the other day at my local health food store. I didn't realize that organic chee-tohs existed, but I guess you learn something new everyday. I love chee-tohs, but these are better because they don't have any preservatives and they use real cheese and they are all natural, which means that they are better for you.

I don't mind the orange fingers though, that's the defense mechanism of the chee-toh. You see, as the squid squirts ink and the skunk sprays stink, the frightened chee-toh oranges you up. I kinda like it though, I eat 'em up anyway. I like the way they crunch in my mouth and I enjoy letting them slide down my throat. One time I swallowed a chee-toh whole, without chewing it, just to see what it would feel like. I don't recommend that you try that.

Greetings

There's some hot stories out there, but I'm kinda busy right now so i'll write about them later.

Welcome, my friend, to my blog.

This is the start of a long journey, and the first step is being taken on that first brick that has just been layed by a poor laborer. Soon, a lengthy brick road will wind across the country side, like discarded string, leading to a large city. I shall call that city Rome.

I'm sure we will encounter some hardships and conflict on the way. We may even encounter a Cheshire cat. But, remember this one thing: keep your chin up, kid. Don't forget to laugh. Don't forget to smile. Don't forget to tell those important people around you how special they are. And, don't forget to tell the special people around you how retarded they are.

Let's have fun with this.