One Man Band

McRorie. One Man Live. Go watch this, then check your pants.

Ok, so you can check your pants, and hopefully, you won't find anything there. This guy isn't that amazing (I don't think you'll shit your pants), he's just really cheezy in that eighties kinda way. Now, I know you're saying, "But Jefe, he's not that cheezy, he's actually cool." My response to that is, "Ok, well that's just your opinion, and we can agree to disagree because that's what makes America great."

McRorie is from Canada.

File This Under "Fucked Up"

If this is true (huge caveat), then some sixteen year old had her mother murdered and then blogged about it!

Again, if this is true. I realize, just because you read about it on the internet doesn't make it true, but still . . .

Link

Lazy Day Sunday

Today was the day made for DVD's. I watched the Empire Strikes Back followed by Sergio Leone's amazing Once Upon A Time In The West followed by Richard Linklater's Slacker. Then I sat outside on the front porch and drank beer and watched the thunderstorm roll in. Now is the time for bed.

O the dreams I shall have . . .

UPDATE: O the dreams I shant have! Instead of light sabres and gun fights and bullshit talking, I dream of the same goddamn motherfucking cocksucking bitch ass recurring dream. Yes, it's the one where I am back at school, I got a test coming up, I haven't studied for it, but I gotta take in order to graduate.

In this episode, the class was an unusual class. We each had a newspaper, and the test asked very specific questions about articles and things appearing the newspaper. I arrived early, but I forgot to get a scantron form, so I had to go to the student store and get one. I figured this would be an easy test, which was good because I needed time to study for my next class. I follow the news, I know what's up, bring it on, I'm ready to go.

No, this test was fucking hard. It was so ridiculous. They asked the most specific questions about the most mundane things. They had questions that you had to look up in the classifieds. There was one where you had to actually work the crossword to answer it. Another question required you to read the comics. One just had a sentence and they asked who wrote it.

Oh, it was hell. I was so tense and stressed. Then I realized that it was all just a dream. I wasn't real. I didn't have a test. I didn't have a newspaper class. Nobody gives a fuck about Andy Capp, nor does he appear in a multiple choice test question. It's okay. Everything's fine. I graduated already. I'm not going to flunk out. It's all okay. Everything's cool

Donald Trump Discusses Citizen Kane

From Errol Morris's website featuring aborted projects.

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The Gyration is Hypnotic and Haunting

And why are there cars in the background? What exactly is going on here? Oh, wait. I see now. A lackey for the evil empire is taunting us. Sure, he's just a run of the mill trooper, he doesn't really have any power. He just figured, if you can't beat 'em, then join 'em. And why not? It's decent pay, some benefits, pension, and besides, you get to kick a little ass and blow off some steam.

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Web Zen

http://www.chaoskitty.com/webzen/

The banana phone taught me things. Until I blacked out and forgot what I had learned.

Science Gone Good

What happens when you filter really cheap shitty vodka through a Brita water filter? You get cheap shitty vodka that actually tastes good!

In all seriousness, I haven't peer reviewed this yet, but I plan to.

The Dragon Wants To Kill You!

No, it's not a real dragon, and no, it does not actually want to kill you. It's all just an optical illusion.

Or is it?

Bwaaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa haaa.

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There's more interesting stuff at this site as well.

Now Is the Time For Our Divided Nation To Heal

Well, on second thought, maybe we should wait another month and then we can start the healing process . . .

Decisions, Decisions . . .

Do I wanna wear jeans today, or do I wanna wear pants? I think I'm gonna go for pants. Today is a pants day. Definitely. Pants all the way, baby.

Post Election

I would like to be the first to welcome our new overlords. Thank you, may I have another?

No but seriously folks, the President said in his acceptance speech that he will work to make this nation "stronger" and "better" and "will work to earn [my support]." Sounds good to me, I mean the President is a man of his word, isn't he?

Now if you don't mind, I'm going to hop into my space ship and fly over the unicorn meadows down to Cloud City where I can purchase a brand new pair of lollipop pants.