Somebody Done Took Mah Chay
There I am, just sittin' and workin', killin' it like a goddamn, and then --KABOOM!-- all of a sudden I'm looking at the ceiling, on the floor, in a broken chair. Whoa, the chair just snapped and broked and down I went. Whoa.
The normal procedure at this point is to order a new chair. The facilities people will, at some point, come by and remove the broken chair and replace it with a new chair. It should not take too long. It is simple to do. It does not even require a manager's approval. It will just be taken care of.
The next day, right before lunch, I get a brand new chair. A nice chair. A fine chair. A lovely chair, if I may say so. It does not look like the other chairs that other people have. It is nice, and I sit in it. Oh yeah, this will work just nicely, this nice chair will work, yes I have the chair, now. Time for lunch.
I go to lunch, deepthroat a burrito or something, come back to sit in that nice chair. That lovely chair. I'm gonna have sex in that chair (that's probably not going to happen, that would be inappropriate work behavior). I am gonna sit in that chair, and like it.
And then, the chair is not there! The chair is gone! Instead, there is some crummy piece of crap chair in it's place. An ugly crummy chair with like a weird stain on it, like a sweaty ball stain, right where one's balls would rest. Somebody took my chair! Some motherfucker piece of shit stole my brand new chair! This cannot stand! This aggression cannot stand! I will find you, and I will get my chair back. I will not forget this, ever!
The normal procedure at this point is to order a new chair. The facilities people will, at some point, come by and remove the broken chair and replace it with a new chair. It should not take too long. It is simple to do. It does not even require a manager's approval. It will just be taken care of.
The next day, right before lunch, I get a brand new chair. A nice chair. A fine chair. A lovely chair, if I may say so. It does not look like the other chairs that other people have. It is nice, and I sit in it. Oh yeah, this will work just nicely, this nice chair will work, yes I have the chair, now. Time for lunch.
I go to lunch, deepthroat a burrito or something, come back to sit in that nice chair. That lovely chair. I'm gonna have sex in that chair (that's probably not going to happen, that would be inappropriate work behavior). I am gonna sit in that chair, and like it.
And then, the chair is not there! The chair is gone! Instead, there is some crummy piece of crap chair in it's place. An ugly crummy chair with like a weird stain on it, like a sweaty ball stain, right where one's balls would rest. Somebody took my chair! Some motherfucker piece of shit stole my brand new chair! This cannot stand! This aggression cannot stand! I will find you, and I will get my chair back. I will not forget this, ever!
