June 13, 2004

A Joke

-Knock knock.

-Who's there?

-Banana.

-Why, if I do say so myself, you look nothing like a banana. You most certainly look like a person.

-No, I'm sorry, you're supposed to say, "Banana who?"

-Why on earth would I say something like that? That doesn't make sense.

-No, see it was all apart of the setup.

-Setup? What setup? At first when you knocked upon my door I thought you were perhaps promoting some form of political action, but I see you do not have a clipboard and pen, so I know it cannot be that. Then I thought maybe you were a solicitor, but you do not have any solicitation materials, which is good because as you can plainly see, I have a sign saying "No Solicitors" clearly posted. Then, I thought that maybe you were stopping by to announce you lost a pet or maybe you needed to borrow some sugar to make a cake. Are you baking a cake? I would love to try some.

-No, I'm not baking a cake.

-So, it is rather odd, If I do say, that you would show up at my door and announce that there is a "setup." I am terribly confused right now.

-No, see, it's the setup for a joke.

-A joke? Is this one of those practical joke shows? Is this Punk'd? I really do not wish to appear on television. There better not be a camera man in the bushes.

-No, no camera in the bushes, this is just a regular joke, you know.

-Ah, I see. Well, not to be rude, but you're joke isn't very funny.

-No, it's not. That's because the rhythm is all off. The setup was botched, and now the rhythm is off, and the joke ceases to be funny.

-Seesaws? That's a funny word to say.

-No, not seesaws, ceases. C-E-A-S-E-S.

-Oh, I thought I heard seesaw. It's a shame you didn't say seesaw, because I was beginning to think that you're joke was picking up steam.

-Yeah, perhaps I should have said seesaw.

-Yeah.

-Hmm.

-So.

-Yeah.

-Well.

-Uhh.

-Yeah.

-Yeah, this is kinda awkward.

-Awkward, yes. Yes, it is. So, uhhh, I just made some popcorn and I was preparing to watch a movie, would you care to join me?

-Sure, I would love to.

-Yes, come on in, my name is Samantha, what is your name?

-Orange.

-Orange? First you said banana, now you say orange. Are you some kind of fruit?

-No.

-Well, Mr. Orange, come on up.

-It's not Mr. Orange, it's just Orange. Orange is my first name.

-Okay, Orange, come on up.

-You have a lovely place.

-Thank you.

-What's this? This is an interesting item, I've never seen anything like it before.

-It's something I got when I was in Peru.

-Oh really, what were you doing in Peru?

-Oh, it's a terribly long story. Maybe another time, what do you say we start the movie?

-Okay.

-Here's you're popcorn, Mr. Orange.

-No, it's just Orange.

-Okay just Orange. Orange who?

-Orange you glad I didn't say banana.

-Okay, Mr. Yougladididntsaybanana, what do you say we start the movie?

The green play button
on the remote is depressed
and the movie plays

June 08, 2004

Venus

Venus transits across the sun today. Well, it's not really, I mean, Venus is simply doing what Venus does everyday, and that's be Venus. So Venile. It just so happens that as far as the Sun and the Earth goes, Venus will be between us. And that's really our problem, isn't it? We are so self absorbed that this is all somehow special for us and it's all thanks to Venus. Sure, the Sun was there, but the Sun's there everyday, and we're here all the time. I mean, I'm stuck with myself and you're stuck with yourself, and we're both stuck together on Earth. Of course, Venus is out there most of the time too, but no one ever gives a flying assfuck until there's a little black spot in the Sun. Awww, I'm just jealous because I don't get to see it because I'm on the wrong side of the Earth today. Dammit.